Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Christmas/Winter Tag

Apparently, this tag was started by someone named Belise from Sparkle for Jesus.  I was tagged by my sister, Bri. The rules are: One: Thank the person who tagged you. (Thanks, Bri). Two: Answer the questions and tag at least three other people. I'm not even sure if I read three blogs, and if I do, then they're blogs that have already been tagged. I'll do my best!

1. DO YOU CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS?

No, which is why I'm filling out this Christmas tag. To get as little into the Christmas spirit as possible. Of course I celebrate Christmas!


2. DO YOU CELEBRATE ANY OTHER FESTIVE HOLIDAYS OTHER THAN CHRISTMAS OR IN ADDITION TO?

We celebrate St. Nicholas Day on the Sixth of December. We do our stockings on that day instead of on Christmas, and we either go to Lights Before Christmas at Riverbanks Zoo (now you can figure out where I live) or we drive around our neighborhood and invade other's neighborhoods to stare at their houses. We only pay attention to the ones that have Christmas Lights on, though.


3. WHEN IT COMES TO WEATHER, 70, 60, 50, 40, 30, 20, 1O DEGREES?

10 degrees!


4. RAIN OR SNOW?

My sister said "Snoooooowwwww....... rain in summer and spring is beautiful, soothing, and delightful... but rain falling on the month's dead leaves and making everything brown soggy just makes me sad." I'd also say snow (or snooooowwwwww), but only because we only get it about once a year. I love rain, and the sadder and deader it looks outside, so much the better. That didn't sound morbid at all, did it?


5. ON THE PERFECT WINTER DAY, WOULD YOU GO SHOPPING OR STAY HOME?

 Who am I spending this perfect winter day with? If it's with my sister, then I'd like to stay at home, but it's fun to go Christmas shopping with my Mother. I think, on the perfect Christmas-y day, I'd say stay home, but on the perfect Winter-y day; go Christmas shopping.


 6. TRIP TO THE MALL OR WALK IN THE PARK?

Trip to the Mall! I have never seen an inchworm in the mall, never seen a bee or stabbed myself with a stick in the mall. And I have never gotten my ears pierced or eaten ice cream in the park. Hence, I'd choose the mall. (Wait, think of how terrifying it would be to get your ears pierced in the park. Something is radically wrong here. Are you being robbed?)


7. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE?

I really like The Ultimate Gift, but that's not really a Christmas movie to most people. We watch it every Christmastime, though, as well as Saving Mr. Banks, which is also definitely not a Christmas movie. I like The Fourth Wiseman, which is one we sometimes save for Resurrection Day. I like It's A Wonderful Life. That one counts. I like the Nativity Story, just for the laughs. You know; the movie where all the characters are, for once, actually Jewish, or at least could pass for Jewish, and yet Jesus still has to be white.


8. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS TRADITION?

Listening to Christmas music in the car!


9. WOULD YOU RATHER SAY "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" OR "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

I don't really recall ever actually saying it to anyone. If a cashier says either of those to me I always go "Hmm, you too!" But if the cashier just hands me the bags and says nothing, I don't even think about it being Christmas, I just say "Hm, thank you!" (The "Hm" is when I do my "polite" smile, which for some reason is always accompanied by a hum). I'd rather say Merry Christmas, though.


10. WHAT DOES YOUR CHRISTMAS MORNING LOOK LIKE?

Christmas morning? We are still sleepin'. Christmas midmorning? We eat cinnamon rolls while watching a documentary of the first Christmas.


11. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG/CAROL?

"Oh, Holy Night". Last year it was "O Come, O Come, Immanuel".


12. HOT COCOA, PEPPERMINT TEA, PEPPERMINT MOCHA, PEPPERMINT MILKSHAKE?

As my sister informed you; Cocoa is made with water, Hot chocolate is made with milk (which she learned from me). I've never had any of the peppermint things, and so I would take Hot Cocoa, if we were out of milk. However, I'd prefer just the milkshake part of a peppermint milkshake. I don't think I'd like Peppermint Tea, but I'd like a Peppermint Mocha. Hold the Peppermint. Hold the cup. Carefully, because it's hot.


I almost forgot to tag anyone. Let's see. I'll tag my sister Bethi, and that's it. Sorry for breaking the rules.


Merry Christmas! (There, I said it! Hm).

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Amazing Snicker Doodle Recipe:

Today I am going to tell you how to make some fantastic snicker doodles that are gluten free, egg free, soy free, peanut free, dairy free, nut free, sugar free, meat free, violence free, and calorie free. These are a fantastic snack to take to your art teacher, who is probably the only person who would find them useful. Here's what you'll need:

1 cup of piece of paper
One tablespoon pencil
One dash reference pic (here's what I used)
A teaspoon of eraser

Take your piece of paper and lay it on a flat surface. Then, take the pencil and look at your reference pic. Sketch the outline of the snickers bar and make sure you have enough room for the letters.


 After that; add detail to the outline, and write the letters in more detail, as well.


If you want, you can stir in some color, but I choose not to. Put in the oven (optional) for zero degrees (because fire hazard), and you can leave them there until your mom looks in the oven and asks what they are. Then you can tell her ".....Snicker.....Doodles...." and you can both stare at each other for a really long time. A really long time.

Mmm, nice fresh Snicker Doodles.

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed making them, 'cause you sure ain't gonna enjoy eating them! According to Revelation 10:10 paper tastes like honey, but it could give you a stomach ache afterward.


Another note: Of course this is another joke. After this post, I'll probably start doing actual posts, because I can't think of another "joke-post" at the moment. In fact, I feel like this one fell short, but after re-reading it, I don't see what I can change to make it work better. It feels a bit forced. Well, anyway, I hope this made you laugh, and I hope you didn't make this and put it in the oven and actually expect them to turn into real cookies.

Friday, December 8, 2017

Tips For Better Writing:

Do you want to learn how to make your writing better, clearer, and more aesthetically pleasing? Then this is the place for you! If you feel like your writing lacks appeal, clarity, and is hard to read, just look at the tips below for advice! Comment, and tell me if this helped you, and if your comments are not written to my taste or if you mispell words or use the most badest grammar then I will delete them!

First, here is an example of bad writing:


As you can see, the person who wrote this has no idea how to write well. The reason it looks so bad? THE TIP. The pencil tip was dull and broken, making the writing faint and thicker than it should be, giving it an extremely lackluster look. Now let me show you how to fix it:

Tip for better writing:  

Sharpen the tip of your pencil! This gives your letters more definition, and makes them thinner, as well as more graceful and dainty, causing your friends and family (or maybe only your doting mother) to exclaim "Oh, what a good writer you are!"  

Example:

I hope this helped you in your quest to become a better writer! Remember to leave a comment and tell me what you think! God bless!
 
*note: on one hand: this is just a joke, on the other hand, it's true, because if you resharpen your pencil, your print will look better. But on the other hand (bet you didn't know I have three hands!) it still is a joke; you probably thought I was going to teach you how to write a  spellbinding novel or an attention-grabbing blog post. The truth is, I don't know. I have never tried to write a spellbinding novel. The only tip I have for that is that maybe you should try spelling words on the binding. It's worth a shot. As for the attention-grabbing blog post, I am still trying to figure that out. Still, if you are reading this, I guess it grabbed your attention at least.
I hope this made you laugh! I was going to say "I hope this taught you something", but then thought better of it. I actually hope you didn't learn that you need to sharpen your pencil from me! If you didn't know about pencil sharpeners before now, you're too young to be on the internet.

For my next blog post, I'm doing a delicious snickerdoodle recipe; so be sure to watch out for that!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Introduction Of Myself:

Hi! I'm Victoria, but since we're friends, you can call me Victoria, because that's my name.
I am a Christian and the second of nine children. I am homeschooled and sweet sixteen- somedays some people might say sour sixteen, but I try to keep that kind of sixteen on a minimum. I am an artist and a reader, a wannabe-actress and apparently a five-star comedian, judging by how hard I laugh at my own jokes. In actuality, I believe my jokes may be the definition of the word jayus, but you can discern that for yourself.

Here is a list of things I love:
  • Obviously God and my family, but if I had to point that out and you couldn't figure it out on your own, I am very offended and put out.
  • Red umbrellas.
  • The color green. 
  • Dragons (hence the blog name) (although Wyrms aren't exactly Dragons). 
  •  Jellyfish. 
  • Good movies. I can't like bad movies, because if I did, then I'd think they were actually good. In which case, they'd no longer be bad, in my eyes. Which means I would call them good. Moving on!
  • Dictionaries.
  • And, of course, art and music.  

Now for somethings I don't like:
  • Crocodiles 
  • The color yellow. 
  • Summer. 
  • Dragons that say they are Dragons but aren't really. (Smaug in the Hobbit films is a Wyvern, not a Dragon!)
  • Green eggs.
  • With green ham. 
  • People repeatedly asking me to try them, regardless of my insisting "I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM-I-AM!"

Here is a list of things I am good at:
  •  
  •  
  •  
 Oh look, it is blank.

Oh, well, here is a list of my hobbies, which you don't have to be good at to enjoy:

I am self-taught at piano, and hope to learn guitar sometime next year. Anything musical, really. You could say music is my... forte.

I'm sorry.

I also like to sing, and when I was nine I wanted to play the trumpet, until a guy at church told me his trumpet sloshed from the spit. I no longer want to play the trumpet.

I already mentioned I like reading: my two favorite genres are lighthearted fiction and encyclopedias. I know those are very different. My favorite book is Lord of the Rings, although I know it doesn't fit either of those genres. I also know it is more than one book. I know lotsa things. I'm currently reading them for the third time; the first time I read the series was when I was eleven, when I accidentally started them on Frodo's and Bilbo's birthday!  I usually read more than one book at a time, but the only other thing I am reading right now is the Bible, of course. Actually, I am doing a three-month bible challenge with my older sister and two of my younger siblings. I'll probably start reading some Christmas books very soon, though.

I have a blog for my art here. I used to put my art here. The art on that blog was back when my art skills were so poor, I couldn't even draw blood with a knife. Please only go there if you promise only to laugh behind my back, instead of... in front of my back, or, whatever. Just, make sure I don't hear it.

This blog was ostensibly created so I could write delightfully witty and hilarious blog posts to make you laugh, but if I am honest with myself, I will remember it was made so I could write delightfully witty and hilarious blog posts to make me laugh. And it's working. Another thing you should know about me: I am very humble. In fact, I am so modest, I make Fyedka in Fiddler on the Roof look like a hyperactive peacock. You remember how he used "very modest" to describe himself. Step aside, amateur.
By the way, I hope you don't feel drowned in jokes, because, although it's better to write a nice, whimsical post with a small bit of humor sprinkled in, I often happen to cram too many jokes in too small a space, like when you try to put a lot of trash in the trash can and then jump on top so you can fit as much in as possible. And, wow, I just referred to my jokes as trash. Might be fitting. But one man's trash is another blog post writer's treasure. I'm funny to me.

This is actually my sixth blog, not counting all the times I have re-created the same blogs over again. I'm hoping that I will actually- as you can see, I love to overwork the word "actual". I've used it twelve times in this blog post, but have been able to edit it down to seven. Someday its fairy godmother will come and release it from its bondage, but for now, it is my slave and must do all the work. Anyway, I hope I will actually be able to keep this blog up and running for at least five years. After that, I'll probably get tired and start another one again, but we shall see.

And now, as I can't think of anything else to write about myself- although I am such an interesting subject, yes?- I will leave, hopefully only for a couple days, and not an entire year, like with the rest of my blogs.

Alright now, "goodbye, and really goodbye!"